Hitting the Pause Button for mental wellbeing

Last December I had to hit the Pause Button on my coaching business for a bit. My mother in law and Aunt both passed away a few weeks apart from each other and with some personal challenges, I started to realise that I had to slow down and make some changes to the way that I was managing my emotions and dealing with the loss. I floated about a lot for a while, quite numb for some time, until everything caught up with me and I got my own supervision to manage the negative thoughts. Grief is so different for each of us and how we express our feelings and emotions can be difficult for others to understand and accept. During this time I came across Lori Deschene's work, she's the author and founder of The Tiny Buddha. I wanted to share her quote as I found it inspiring and a reminder to catch my own thoughts before they rolled away as an unwanted behaviour.

Practice the Pause

"Pause before judging,

Pause before assuming,

Pause before accusing,

Pause whenever you're

about to react harshly,

and you'll avoid doing

and saying things that

you'll regret later."

Lori Deschene

10 Ways to Practice

After the fog started to lift and life started to become less dream like I wanted to write down and think about some of the ways that could stop the perpetual busyness and avoidance strategies that may be creating more conflict. They really aren't anything new to the world of self managing emotions and ideas to slow down and change our thinking styles but they have helped me with my self awareness and personal growth. I also recommend reading Claudia Hammonds book' The Art of Rest'. It's humorous, easy to read and full of tips and the real science behind rest.

"Give yourself permission to rest." - Claudia Hammond

So here are some ways to practise the pause:

1. Take a purposeful pause after somebody has spoken and before you speak.

2. Adapt the skill to notice and understand things around you before responding.

3. Give yourself enough time to unwind and relax. A mental pause is important to remove exhaustion.

4. Never try to be perfect with everything. When you engage in your daily tasks with precision and perfectness, you forget to press your pause button and act automatically.

5. Hit the pause button to do regular breathing and visualisation.

6. Practise the pause by composing your thoughts and hold off from reacting instantly.

7. Try to disconnect your digital world. Give social media a break to relax.

8. Be mindful of what you eat and drink.

9. Be present and focus on life now in the moment.

10. Focus on building quality time with family or friends and reconnect.

The bottom line?

These practical ideas are all included and taught in the sessions that I offer. An investment in personalised professional coaching is effective to improve our mental health. Coaching helps to build the skills to adapt, recover and grow from challenging situations and helps lay a foundation for self-understanding, improving relationships and builds resilience.